Seeking validation from others and how it keeps you discontent in life, no matter who you are.

We live in a time where the "noise" in the world that surrounds us is loud, opinionated, suggestive, critical, and working on our subconscious mind.

It is constant – from when you wake up, at the gym, on the toilet, on your ride to work, at work, at AM coffee break, at lunch, sitting WITH YOU at lunch, across from your office desk, at your board meeting (sigh), in your car on the ride home (oh god!), at the supermarket, at the class, at dinner, on TV, of course there when you go to bed and definitely everywhere your phone is...eek! 

The noise invites you into continuous comparative thinking about yourself and the outside world.

We frequently compare our beauty, success, influence, happiness, love, attention, material possessions, travel and holidays, status, etc. with others leaving us to experience thoughts along the lines of:

• "Wow, she gets so much attention. Why don't I get the same?"

• "Everbody is doing that and posting that type of picture....maybe I should do the same..."

• "That entrepreneur is so successful. I don't have the same success as him. I don't get it.."

• "They have so many likes and followers. We have to do more to get to that."

• "His presentation is getting a better response than mine. He isn't even as experienced than me. He must be...."

• "That couple looks so happy... like they have everything... We have to be like that. Train harder, do more, be more..."

While initially, these types of thoughts may boost us to move and take some action towards a better state of being, the truth is, the comparison shakes up insecurities deep inside that reveal how uncertain, unhappy and discontent we feel about life. Our challenges around self-worth and self-esteem are triggered as we constantly feel "not-good-enough."

Without stopping to understand ourselves and the underlying reasons why we feel the way we do, there is a big chance will always be reminded of loneliness, lack of achievement, lack of beauty and lack of love in our lives.

The real challenge? How to quieten the outside noise long enough so we can hear the genuine little voice (GLV) inside ourselves tell us, (with 100% unconditional love and care for our wellbeing, happiness and dreams) what is right for us.

Your GLV has no interests to on-sell, up-sell, make us do stuff for others, tempt us into feeling bad for something, and con us into feeling anything less than whole and uniquely perfect. 

Our GLV is happily uncontaminated by the thoughts, judgement, criticism of others, of culture and societal shoulda-coulda. Our GLV prioritises us, what makes us happy and what is right for us in this moment of life. Our GLV helps us to make decisions in challenging life situations, helps us to find hope in times that are tough, helps us to self-love and self-nurture when we have forgotten to, helps us to move on when the other has, helps us to say no when our boundaries are stretched, helps us to get moving on things without the accompaniment of others, and knows when to give us a kick up the bum when we aren't giving ourselves 100%. 

Our GLV keeps us on track with our life purpose, even when we haven't discovered it yet.

Some of you reading this have heard and know your genuine little voice. Some of you have had good experiences and feel as though your GLV has never let you down. You might love your GLV and, this blog post is just a reminder to keep listening.

For others, you might even dislike or condemn GLV to have let you down because somehow, when you did listen, you may have ended up experiencing pain or suffering. From this place of disappointment, you might have blamed your GLV for being untrustworthy, for having abandoned and forsaken you!

In the grand scheme of life, challenges are on the journey to a better place. The grit, hard work, sometimes suffering and pain is part of the uphill climb to get to a better outlook on life.

If you want to live every day with happiness, joy, true love, fulfilment, true success, prosperity, abundance, then you have to know that the only person you can rely on to make it happen, is you and your GLV.

It doesn't mean you can't ask for help when you find yourself floundering, okay? Accepting that we all need guidance and support in life is part of admitting that we don't have all the answers to life's various situations.

Remember, when you cast the net of validation outward, you hand yourself over to the standards of others and the outside world. Here, the standards are set by an accumulation of outside world standards that are based on, you guessed it, outside world standards (repeat times xxx.) In this strange "illusion" you experience, "sometimes" joy, "sometimes" love, but mostly indifference, discontentment and unhappiness because this space isn't yours; it isn't real, or created for you, made by you or contain the things that make sense to you, honestly. 

Choose your genuine little voice instead of the outside world when you need a cheer squad. You GLV is the healthiest voice to listen to when you are looking for confirmation, support, comfort, encouragement, energy, confidence, and a loving voice.

Your genuine little voice speaks to you with your best interest at heart. In the long term, his or her advice will be far more satisfying, energising, and loving, and will ensure you are on track to experience happiness, success and fulfilment, fully, in a way that you may have never imagined before.

Written by Jo Anne
Instagram.com/lifecoachjoanne | www.lifecoachjoanne.com

Jo Anne Zamora Gante is an accredited Life Coach and member of the International Coaching Federation.

As an experienced teacher and workshop facilitator in dance, movement, body-mind teachings and holistic wellness, Jo Anne coaches clients all around the world online and in-person in their journey to be happier, passionate, fulfilled and loving individuals.

Jo Anne delivers her work in English, Spanish and Italian.

Contact Jo Anne joanne@lifecoachjoanne.com
instagram.com/lifecoachjoanne
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